Ambush
by Lasrach
Summary: Sakura was having a terrible day. Getting ambushed by the Akatsuki was only an improvement. Sadly things only got worse from there. Includes cheesy one-liner’s and something that vaguely resembles a plot. Crackish; AU.


A bad start...

Contrary to popular opinion, being a kunoichi was not as romantic as it seemed in films and books.

Not only did it involve a lot of hard work but most of it consisted of long periods of being bored out of your mind and short periods of being scared out of your mind. Naruto had no concept of either of these emotions and was usually in a perpetual state of hyperness or, on occasion, ramen induced euphoria. This was... annoying for his teammates.

Sakura was on one of those boring messenger missions that nobody wanted, and that the Hokage usually only gave to people who had really pissed her off. If there was such a thing as an E-class mission, this would be it.

And Kakashi had taken it because porn was cheaper in Suna.

Naruto had only gone along with it (despite her protests) because he was now best buddies with the Kazekage. Gaara was a lovely person once you got to know him, but she still didn't see the attraction. The only thing in Suna was sand, sand and more sand...

Oh, and porn.

However, this _particular_ mission really took the biscuit for being an all time low. Not only was it out-of-her-mind boring, but she was ruining her hair by walking through a dense forest. And it was raining. And although Kakashi hadn't actually said it, they were probably lost. Only the miraculous reappearance of Sasuke could save her day, and that (sadly) was probably not going to happen.

It was cold, it was wet, she was tired and Naruto had pawned their only bloody compass.

She decided to glare at Kakashi for a while. It was his fault for volunteering them for the stupid mission anyway, and it made her feel slightly better. It was not as if she had anything else to do. Sai was simply not a conversationalist and Naruto would probably challenge her to their eleventh game of 'I Spy'. They had run out of words after rain and trees. Nothing else was stupid enough to be out in this weather.

"Are you all right, Sakura?" Kakashi had caught her glaring.

"Peachy," she snarled gritting her teeth. She hoped they had all caught the sarcasm.

"Heh... Like your hair Sakura-Chan!" Trust Naruto to pick up on her unintentional pun. Kakashi winced.

Sakura switched her glare to Naruto and turned it up a few watts.

Naruto tried to appease the increasingly hopeless situation.

"Ehh... Nice hair though! Your hair looks good today, Sakura-Chan!"

Her face was slowly turning the colour of her hair. Naruto started looking around for cover. Even Sai, who was not the most emotionally intelligent individual, started backing away. Kakashi put down 'Icha Icha' to better enjoy the show.

"HOW, can my hair look GOOD? When we have been walking through a soggy FOREST for SIX GODAMNED HOURS?" She felt slightly guilty for flying off the handle this quickly but decided she might as well continue. Inner-Sakura was cheering.

"And we are most probably LOST because you gave away our only compass for RAMEN!"

She welcomed Inner-Sakura's contribution that bottling up emotions was bad for your mental health.

"You, you...DOBE!"

Naruto gasped. "That's Sasuke's word! You can't say that!"

Wrong. Answer.

Kakashi grinned. This was what he signed up to teach for!

He however, was not prepared for what happened next.

"And... YOU!" She rounded on Kakashi. The grinning, in hindsight, had been a bad idea.

"What happened to: 'Oh, I can navigate by the star's'? Shouldn't we be in SUNA by now? As in a place with SAND! Can you see any SAND?"

He looked slightly sheepish.

"Hey... Naruto's the one who lost our compass..."

Transferral of blame was always the best option. Plus, Naruto was practically immune to Sakura's temper. And as the vessel of the nine-tailed fox demon he healed the fastest. He could take the fall. It was really for the best...In the interests of teamwork of course.

Sakura turned blazing to Naruto.

A brace of kunai came, studding into the ground around them.

It was the first time Sakura had seen Naruto really pleased to be ambushed.

**Authors Note:** Am putting this up not because it is any good, but because my computer is two browsing sessions away from crashing, and I'd prefer not to lose anything.


End file.
